Facing Fears

I feel like it's time to face my fears. To accept that I actually have them, and to finally realize that that's ok! My fears and insecurities are what make me reliant on the Lord and motivate me to draw nearer to Him. To RELY on Him.

Se here are some of my fears....

I'm afraid to try to invest myself in my scripture study and gospel learning more deeply. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to study as deeply and meaningfully and feel as satisfied as I did when I was younger and had more free time. Like in my high school years. I fear that I've become less spiritually sensitive because I don't have hours of study and pondering time anymore. I worry that my time spent coming closer to Christ by studying His teachings has been replaced with sleepily staring at the pages of open scriptures, while thinking about things I should be getting done.

I'm afraid to invest myself in my education. I'm afraid that I'll never finish, that it will be too hard and take too long. And that I will be a mediocre mom while I'm focusing on textbooks and essays to write. I fear that people will judge me if I don't finish, and that others will judge me if I do.

I'm afraid of losing myself in service to my family for fear that I'll never actually find myself like Jesus promised we would in the scriptures. I worry that I'll become an empty shell who can clean and cook, but who doesn't remember how to be silly and have fun, or who doesn't remember the talents and gifts people used to compliment her for.


But, I know these fears are lies. Maybe they would become realities IF there were no Christ. But Jesus Christ lives! He is real!

Faith in Him replaces fears like these with hope, joy, and miracles that we never could have expected or hoped for if there were no Jesus Christ! Faith in Christ can replace my fear of not having enough time for meaningful scripture study with the joy and surprise of reading a quick and simple verse of scripture in a spare moment that unexpectedly touches my heart deeply and fills my soul with peace and  the resolution to be a more loving mother. Faith in Jesus Christ can turn my fear of never graduating into the diligence and focus that will not only help me graduate, but fill my whole life with an excitement for learning. Faith in Jesus Christ can turn the fear of permanently losing myself, into the sweet reassurance that God wants me to be a mother not so that I can become someone else, but so that I can become the best me and use my unique talents and attributes to bless the lives of my children.

The beautiful thing about these little fears and insecurities I have, is that they drive me to come closer to the Savior. They inspire me to let Him replace my fears with hope and faith in Him! They motivate me to keep strengthening my faith in Christ until it is rock solid and no more fears can sneak through the cracks.

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." -Helaman 5: 12 (The Book of Mormon)

Let's change from fear...

To faith!