"Please explain why you now desire to return to the university. What have you accomplished in the time you were away that has prepared you to continue your university studies?"
At first this prompt could seem rather daunting to a mom who hasn't been to school or worked outside of her home for the past 3 years!!! Well.... I haven't completed more classes since then... I haven't received any recognitions, certificates, or even participation awards!!! I haven't gotten any good grades and I don't have any GPA to show for what I've been doing. The closest I have to a degree is my MRS. and MOM degrees.... Can I get an A grade for the work I do as a mom? Or maybe "A" for "Absolutely exhausted"? Or a "B" for "Beautiful Babies"? Or even a D for "changed 30 Diapers in one day"??
Reflecting on this prompt and writing the follow essay was therapeutic for me and also taught me a lot. Here is the essay I wrote:
"I stopped attending school in 2016, having no idea that the new journey I was embarking on would be more challenging and educational than anything I had yet experienced at any university. My new journey: motherhood. My husband and I married in December 2015. In September 2016 our son was born! Fifteen months after that, our daughter was born! The past few years as a mother of young children with a husband in the engineering program have been the hardest of my life. The experiences have been stretching. My husband and I have felt immense joy, but the demands placed upon our shoulders often felt like more than we could bear. We learned to intentionally invested in our relationship, in raising our children, and in gospel living. My husband graduated yesterday with his civil engineering degree. No one was more proud than I was. What have I accomplished in the past few years that has prepared me to continue at BYU? I have mentally disciplined myself to a new level, as I have birthed two beautiful babies naturally without any medications or pain relief. I have spent countless sleepless nights comforting and nurturing babies, while receiving strength beyond my own. I have overcome feelings of loneliness, isolation, and insignificance as a mother that I was completely unprepared for. I have learned to stand up for my beliefs that motherhood is important, even when those around me doubt its significance or fail to see the sacrifice that motherhood truly entails. I have learned to sacrifice personal dreams and goals in order to hold my family together. I have lifted and strengthened young mothers on their path through sharing what I have learned through my motherhood education. I have learned that the most important things I will do in this life will not be honored with ceremonies, caps, gowns, or degrees. I have learned that I can do things that stretch me beyond what I thought possible. I have learned that with the Lord on my side, I can do anything He needs me to do. "
Since writing this essay, I have been studying the question of whether to continue at school in my mind, in prayer, in the scriptures, and in the words of modern prophets.
I came across these lines from a talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook. He talks about how the decisions of whether to work or be at home as a mother are very personal:
"First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan.
Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances.
Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions."
The more I have studied and prayed, the more I have felt that what I am doing at home is more important than anything I could do at a university or even in the workplace. The decision is personal for everyone, but I just want to say to all women: Heavenly Father will lead and guide you in your unique path! Whatever you do, people will judge you, you will sometimes go unappreciated or unseen, but as long as you are following what you know God wants you to do, your contributions and work are eternally significant and valuable.
Let's love and support each other, let's not judge, and let's acknowledge that what each of us is doing is important. Let's celebrate each other! But let's also learn to keep doing what needs to be done, even when there is no guaranteed celebration, recognition, or appreciation. The Lord loves us and will reward us each for the labors of love we do for Him.
